What God Has Shown Me About the Ways Fear Held Me Back

I never realized fear was shaping my decisions and affecting my life in such severe ways. It wasn’t dramatic or obvious — it was subtle, quiet, and disguised as “being safe.” I thought I was being smart, protecting myself, and leading my life where it needed to go. But there was an undercurrent beneath everything, influencing how I saw myself, how I approached opportunities, and even how I understood the calling on my life.

Fear didn’t shout, it whispered.

And I let those whispers direct me.

You aren’t good enough.

What if you fail?

What if nobody agrees with you or likes you?

Don’t be selfish.

Don’t let anyone see your feelings.

Don’t let anyone know what you’re thinking — they’ll judge you, tear you apart, and toss you away like yesterday’s trash.

These whispers guided me into isolation, missed opportunities, and insecurity in every area of my life — and I didn’t even notice it happening. I believed those lies and allowed them to dictate every part of my life.

I see now that fear didn’t just make me anxious, depressed, or insecure.

It kept me from living the life God had prepared for me.

It kept me from blessings and joy.

It withheld hope and any sense of peace.

Fear Made Me Shrink When God Was Asking Me to Step Forward

Throughout my life, I constantly asked:

• Why don’t I get to do better?

• Why can’t I have a good man?

• Why am I not enough?

• Why is my life so hard?

God has shown me that it didn’t have to be that way.

He put wonderful people in front of me.

He surrounded me with love.

He gave me skills, opportunities, direction, and everything I needed to succeed in His plan for my life.

But I chose to listen to fear, anxiety, depression, and the whispers that said, “You are not enough.”

God wasn’t asking for perfection.

He was asking me to listen and obey — to trust Him and let Him lead me.

But I put my trust in fear instead. Fear said I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t enough. God said He would equip me and send what I needed. I didn’t even realize I was choosing fear.

Fear Made Me Protect Myself Instead of Trusting God to Protect Me

Fear told me, “Listen to me and you’ll be safe.”

Avoid risks.

Avoid vulnerability.

Avoid anything that might show weakness.

But God kept showing up, trying to show me that He was the safe place.

He would be my strength when I was weak.

He would lead me to places that would build me up.

He would use my vulnerability to grow me, not destroy me.

Every time I chose fear, it felt safer — but it wasn’t.

God wasn’t asking me to be fearless.

He was inviting me to trust Him more than my fears, so He could lead me out of isolation and into the life He had prepared for me.

Fear Distorted My Identity

My identity became something that wasn’t true.

I listened to who fear told me I was and what fear told me I was capable of.

Fear said:

• You are just a woman

• You are not worthy

• You are not good enough

• You are too broken

• You are too late

• You will never be loved

• You will never be enough

• You were meant to be there for others, not yourself

• You are not important

But God said:

Fear tried to define me, and I let it for many years.

Then one day, I listened to God — and He reminded me who I already was in Him.

He showed me the lens He sees me through:

• I am beautifully and wonderfully made.

• I am adopted into His family.

• I am redeemed.

• I am loved.

Fear Kept Me From Seeing the Life God Prepared for Me

Fear doesn’t just hold us back — it places a veil over our eyes.

We lose focus on what’s important, valuable, and pleasing to God.

We take our eyes off Him and fix them on what could go wrong instead of what is possible.

Here are a few ways this happens:

• A.N.T.s (Automatic Negative Thoughts) - Patterns that train us to see the negative instead of the positive.

• “What if” thinking (What if this happens? What if that happens?) - These thoughts create anxiety, build expectations of failure, and keep us stuck.

• Negative self-talk - Your mind listens to your words — and it will run with them.

There are many more ways fear blinds us, but these alone can shape an entire life if we let them.

A Gentle Word for You

If fear has been holding you back — from healing, calling, community, creativity, or obedience — you are not alone. God is patient. He understands the process you must walk through, and He is faithful to show you the way back if you allow Him.

He will walk with you one step at a time.

You do not have to conquer fear to move forward.

You simply have to accept His truth — and fear will begin to fade.

Take the next step with Him.

Reach out and ask for His guidance.

Let Him walk you through the fire.

He will walk through it with you.

Want to Walk This Journey With Me?

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